merry effing christmas

So it's 9:00 pm here in Utah. For once I'm not blogging nonsense at an ungodly hour. I'm blogging nonsense at a godly hour. Yay for me.

So today was an interesting day. I had a day off. Hooray for me! It was unexpected and amazing. I decided that I would be productive, however, and help my dear uncle hang christmas lights on the outside of the house.

Firsty, nothing about hanging christmas lights in simple. Secondly, who the hell thought of this shit? "Oh it's Christ's birth! Our houses should glow! There shall be light up reindeer and a decorative wreath!" I'm sure the lights have some kind of symbolic meaning that I just ruined in some way. So we began to put up the decor having previously tested to see if it all indeed would light up and make our culvisack merry. Well folks, previously tested don't mean shit.
As soon as we had everything up and running, of course OF COURSE, as soon as the lights began to twinkle and shine, but of freakin course half of the garage is the universe's black hole. Nothing, not even a shimmer.

My uncle, being the buddhist, enviormentally friendly, al gore-loving man he is refused to put up last years lights because they were not LED and would ultimately result in the explosion of our ozone layer. So naturally to save mankind we headed to Home Depot to rescue the planet. No luck. No 31.5 ft of multi-color LED 2 inch bulbs anywhere.
Walmart? Uh huh.
Lowes? Negative.
Rite aid? Nope (but there was a hillarious dancing Hillary Clinton doll that sang "My country tis of thee" that entertained us for 3 glorious minutes.)
Target? Nunka.

Soo this resulted in us going home, reluctantly switching to last years design, and figuring out that to, did not work. We tried of course switching bulbs which resulted in me actually getting slightly electrocuted. Yah that's right. I got zapped. My uncle intelligently told me to unplug it. Haha which indeed worked. However despite my best efforts and all the pain I put into changing bulbs the string of lights still refused to twinkle.

Back to Target. Where we bought 31.5 multi-color 2 inch bulbs. Sorry Al Gore, we failed you. But damn does our house look good.

It was the first day of Advent today. Which in catholic world means a purple candle, a prayer, a nice dinner and wine. Yay jesus.

For todays events I have decided this day as well calls for a shit and hit list.

Shit List:
Target
Lowes
Home Depot
Walmart
Getting electrocuted.
Light up deer (they scare me.)
Christmas lights.
Cold hands.
The world "Culvisack" (I doubt that's even spelled correctly.)


Hit list:
Jesus.
Asians in suits.
Rite Aid (oh hillary).
Wine.
Food.
Company.