when you dream, dream big, because it may come true.

Ah these bittersweet, melancholy feelings are a common theme with me lately.
But, I don't mind it.
So lets not stop the train yet.

Isn't Deja vu a strange feeling? I keep having the same one today. About a year ago when my father was in the hospital I was sitting in a round window on the ICU waiting room wishing the world would stop. As if to fit my dismal mood it was even raining at the time. I remember this man kept paseing the room. I didn't really make anything of it, didn't really give a shit who he was or why he was there. I assumed he could care less about me either. I don't know how long I sat with my head on the window, nor do I remember how many tears I cried or if I was even to exhausted to cry. I do remember, however, the man walked up to me and glanced at me for a few awkward seconds before saying, "God's crying." In a surprisingly blunt tone, not meaningful...not really even spiritual, almost like anger. And he went back to his paseing.

I wonder how that man is now. I hope he is okay.

I had a conversation with a man today. This burly, seemingly unsensitive man. It made me wonder if I come across as a wandering soul. I guess everyone is when they are 19. Trying to find your place in the world. Also makes me wonder if he somehow understands and went through similiar things when he was younger. Either way it was meaningful and appreciated. It made me think.

Maybe I need to start random acts of kindness.

I seriously don't know what was with yesterday. Maybe I was stoned on Claritin-D, or maybe it was Journey's "Don't stop believing" blaring much to loudly on my car stereo. I just felt good, and as soon as the day starting slipping downward I got slipped a message. Little things are to often taken for granted.

I think my faith in the human race has raised a tiny bit more. At least for now I'll put cynical christine on the back burner.

Cheers.