It's official. I'm going a little crazy. It was really weird waking up today. I feel like I should call out there and see how he's doing, but I already know.
Ahgjksdhgkjrgkertggg. That's what's on my mind right now. Jumble, jumble, jumble. I called my mother and she read his obituary to me. Ah I can't believe it actually happened. He cheated death for so long. I guess it's good, but not when I'm an agnostic I suppose. I need faith. I need jesus himself to alight upon my couch much like a fly might upon a marsbar. And I need him to say, "Christine stop being dumb, I'm real." Yeah, that would be perfect.
I need to write something for the funeral. Though my literary genius isn't exactly showing lately, quite obvious to the readers of MUG. (elyse). Sorry to dissapoint. Haha.
So I'm going back to Oregon on thursday. Which reminds me of a quote, "How can I miss you if you dont leave?" I'm not sure exactly who said it, but I get where they're coming from. How utterly, insanely depressing.
Something good could happen anytime now and I would be very happy. I don't think I'm being ignorant. I really think everything sucks at the moment. Well I drove by walmart the other day and there was a bum on the street.
It could be worse?
Monday, September 10, 2007
In my heart is where you are
Posted by Christine at 1:30 PM
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Okay, so I'm not Jesus, or even close for that matter.
But do you want me to come sit on your couch and say "Christine, stop being dumb. He's real, it's all true?" Because I totally will. Because it's totally the truth.
Right now, you hope it's true. If nothing else, hold on to that. Your not an agnostic if you HOPE it's true. And if you need to, you can hold on to my faith for a while.
Let go, and let God.
I love you.
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